– The #1 Reason We Can’t be Happy Even if We Try
Christmas and this time of the year is the time
when everyone expects us to be jolly and happy.
What I have found in working with people for over 15 years now is, that the truth is that November and December are a really stressful time for most of us.
Some of us are frustrated that we can’t buy the gifts we want to buy, others don’t have the time to truly sit down and come up with thoughtful gifts, and some people don’t have anyone to celebrate with. In either case Christmas and the Holidays bring up stuff because it’s naturally a time we get to be around our family or we realize we don’t have anyone close and a time when our focus shifts from the busy-ness of the rest of the year to our loved ones, or the ones that we should love.
Simply put it’s a time when we are faced with many more demands then we usually face.
So it’s easy to slip back into old patterns that you might have been working on so diligently to overcome, like putting others first and sacrificing your own health and happiness.
This is why I am writing this article to you today. As a reminder that especially in times like right now your own happiness has to stay your top priority or everything goes by the wayside.
Now taking care of your own happiness is easier said than done.
I was especially reminded of this today while working with one of my beloved regular clients.
We had done quite a bit of work over the past couple of months so when she came to see me today I asked her:
So Michele ( I am not sharing her real name for privacy purposes here) what would you like to work on today?
And I always remind my clients to make sure to pick a burning issue, that when resolved will give them a life-transforming breakthrough.
Life-transforming! That’s how powerful Family Constellations are. But you have to ask for it, in this work–and in real life–and you get what you ask for. Anyway back to Michele. She said,”You know all my life it has felt like I was over here,” as she pointed in one corner of the room, “and happiness has been over there,” as she pointed to the opposite side of the room. “It has felt like everyone around me gets it but in my 40-something years of life, I have had only a few small glimpses of true happiness.”
In my work I ask people to choose colored rectangles of felt to represent issues. So I asked her to choose a piece of felt for herself and another one for happiness and place them in the room. Which she did.
So there was a big space between the felt that represented her and the felt that represented happiness.
I step on these felt pieces and sense into the truth of whatever I am representing (depending on the felt I am standing on).
I started by stepping onto the felt piece representing her and immediately didn’t feel well, I actually started feeling nauseous and like something was wrong with my liver and other inner organs, I couldn’t open my eyes and felt sea sick.
I stepped off of the felt piece and asked her how this was for her. She confirmed that she often has stomach problems and would feel nauseous if she would allow herself to feel what was really going on.
Next I stepped on the felt piece that represented the happiness and while speaking the truth of the happiness said something very interesting:
I could very easily just walk over to you and wrap myself around you but it wouldn’t help you in your development.
There is something in this situation of me being over here and you being over there.
I stepped off of that felt piece and checked back in with Michele.
She was sitting on the sofa taking in what I was sharing. She knew it was true, and also knew she needed to practice patience because physical energy, or action, follows intention, or thought. She could see that this process dissects compound thoughts into manageable pieces.
I stepped back on the felt piece that represented her and somehow we got to talking about her spiritual teacher.
Sometimes peoples energies show up in a Family Constellation, so that’s what happened here.
Somehow I knew that his teachings had to do with finding happiness through the connection with one’s ancestors.
When I said that, a light bulb went on for Michele and she said, “Could this have anything to do with my grandmother? She was raised without a father like I was.”
And I said lets just see and gave her three more colored felt pieces to represent her grandmother and her great-grandparents. She placed them right in the space between the field that represented her and the one that represented happiness.
I said to her, “Now you see what’s in between you and your happiness and why the happiness couldn’t just walk over to you. This needed to come to light.”
And with this I meant the trauma that she was carrying for her Ancestors.
As it turned out her great-grandfather had been imprisoned for embezzlement leaving her great-grandmother with her daughter (Michele’s grandmother) to fend for themselves. Michele’s great-grandmother opened a boarding house in a busy city to survive. Michele’s grandmother, just a little girl back then in the 1920’s, was repeatedly molested by men that boarded in that house. This was information her beloved grandmother had shared with her when she was still alive.
Even though this all happened almost one hundred years ago and her ancestors are all dead today, it still impacted her greatly.
When we work with Constellations we actually work with the quantum field that exists out of time. If trauma has happened in the past in your family, and it hasn’t been healed, it’s as if it is happening now. It’s active in your DNA and your energy field, because we are all extensions of our ancestors. Our life comes directly from them.
After the great-grandfather and his wife and daughter made amends and could say to each other that which they had never been able to say in real life, Michele was able to give back what she was carrying for her ancestors and happiness, which had been waiting patiently all along, then moved around her and them.
With the Constellation ending in the ancestors blessing Michele to live her life in what ever form it makes her happy.
I titled this article “You would never have guessed this- The number one reason you can’t be happy even if you try.”
Would Michele have guessed that this was behind her feeling of not being able to be happy?
No she wouldn’t have.
And so haven’t the hundreds of clients that I have led through this process.
These ancestral loyalties, as we call them in family Constellations, are hidden deep in our subconscious but we completely live by them.
If it taught me one thing, it’s that we know so little about the truth of what’s really going on in our life and why an issue persist.
Why we can’t seem to manifest what we desire, why can’t seem to find the right partner, why we seem not to be able to be healthy or happy.
If this article has made your curious and you’d like to find out what hidden ancestral patterns are blocking you sign up for a free
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Happy New Year and may 2014 be the year that you make your dreams come true! Because the truth is only you can!