In my “toilet moment”,the moment that was my wake up call, I realized I wasn’t very far from death.
I also realized that, up to that moment, I believed that someone “out there”, the therapists, the doctors and the healers were the experts. I had been hoping, praying even begging that one of them would figure out what was wrong with me. Then, they could fix me and make me all better. But what hit me the night of my wake-up call was this: that there never, ever would be, or could be, anybody “out there” that would be able to just wave a magic wand and make me healed, make it as if the trauma never happened. It was at that moment that I found the courage to heal myself. I knew that I had to be the one to do it, or it would never really happen. It became clear to me that I was the only one who could heal my broken heart.
I am sharing this article with you today, because in your case, it’s the same. You are the only one who can heal yourself. There is nobody else who can do it. Understand that no one but you can heal yourself. Nobody but you can integrate your pain, so you can once more open your heart and feel safe.
This understanding enables you to take the firsts steps toward integration and healing. Only then will you finally stop waiting for somebody else to heal you. You stop looking outside and start looking inside. Inside is where all your answers lie.
I am sharing this concept with you today because it will enable you to shift from waiting for things to change to taking proactive steps. Being proactive is far better than waiting for somebody to come and finally help you, or for your man to finally change.
This concept, that you are the only one who can really heal yourself, will help you to get from a place where you are the powerless victim to reclaiming your power.
You do this by changing what no longer works for you in your life, and in your relationship. You may have thought, or hoped, that I would be the one saving you. Or maybe my book or some other self-help experts book would be the one that did that for you. But really, all of it is just here to remind you of all the things you already know, on some level.
Your soul knows, for sure.
I know from my own experience just how it is to hope that somebody else will help. I had gone to a number of analytical therapists for many, many years. The only results were that my parents ended up spending a ton of money on therapy bills. If you have been seeing a therapist for quite a while, haven’t you wondered, deep down, why it is so? Why does it take so long? Why don’t you seem to be getting any closer to healing? Why you are still angry at your man, and why you are still fighting all the time? Why can’t you let go during sex and feel passionate and alive? As I said, I had been going to therapists for some time. I started wondering and asking all these same questions, too.
What I realized, finally, was this: Traditional therapy is only focused on treating or fixing the problem, not on transforming, integrating, learning from or healing the problem.
Big difference!
Putting a band-aid on a gushing wound doesn’t make your wound heal, nor does it help new skin to magically grow. In other words, traditional therapy fails because it focuses on fixing the symptoms (the gushing wound), but not on supporting the bodies own healing powers. You are the one who knows how to heal your heart best. You’ll see it, on your own healing journey.
Exercise Ask yourself this question: Are you still hoping that someone out there will help you? Or, did you have your wake-up moment yet? If you did have your wake-up moment, go back in time and find it. Write it down. Remember the thoughts that crossed your mind. They where most likely given to you by grace. Become as conscious as possible of it, so you can reconnect with the energy of the event over and over again. This is what will keep you on the path when times get tough. It will also help you to make this concept a real truth for you, rather then just a mental concept.
The above article is an excerpt from the first chapter of Blossom- A 7 Step Journey. How to Heal Early Sexual Trauma and Create A Trust-filled and Deeply Connected Relationship with Your Man.
To get the full Chapter for free click here