I have two small children, a husband, a household and my work.
I do want to connect with Source (or whatever you call that higher part that governs the Universe) and I do want to be the best I can be. I do want to be enlightened.

Many spiritual teachers suggest that a true state of divine connectedness can only be attained through stilling your mind, sitting quietly and by detachment from the world.

Well, that has not been working for me.
And I am pretty sure it hasn’t been working for you, either.

So I started questioning this paradigm.

It is, after all, the “male way” of doing things.

Let me explain what I mean by that. (Because in my opinion, this holds the key to an authentic female spiritual practice, a practice that will bring you, as a woman, closer to living your joy and love in everyday life.)

Lately, I have become really interested in the theme of female and male essence.
For a long time, I thought that having equal rights and liberties in my marriage would make for a truly balanced and fair relationship with my man. I thought that if we both became more and more “the same” in terms of what our roles were, I would feel happy.

This didn’t turn out to be so.

Today I know that the reason I didn’t feel better and happier after creating a “fairer” marriage was the lack of sexual polarity between my man and me.

I am happiest when I am in my true feminine nature, my true sexual essence.
I had to learn that being in my true feminine essence didn’t mean that I was weaker, or had less power, just because I had a different role then my man.

I thought I only had power if I was making tons of money, had lots of influence, lots of freedom and was independent.

Turns out everything I had equated with having power are male qualities.

Most of us are looking at a “male model” of doing things and being in the world.
For some reason, it seems like you must adapt that model if you want to be successful as a woman.

And it doesn’t matter in which area of your life you want to be successful.
Be it your career, or your proximity to enlightenment.

It just seems like there is only one way, but if you take a closer look, you can see it is the way men propose to do things.

I hope you can see now what I meant when I spoke of following the “male way” of doing things.

I have realized lately that in order for me to find an authentic way of being spiritually “successful”, I have to stop looking at how the male teachers are attaining enlightenment and bliss.

I realized that we as women have an entirely different path to “success”, be it in our work or on our spiritual path.

(And I am putting success in quotation marks because the concept of success is in, and of itself, a very masculine concept. To me, success means: “attaining my heart’s fulfillment” in any area.)

While the male thrives on focus and stillness, the feminine thrives on connectedness and movement.

While a man’s way to finding God might be sitting by himself, hidden in a cave and meditating, a woman’s way is not. (Big newsflash here for me, and for you, too, I bet!)

What both genders have in common is a commitment. The commitment to being as conscious and awake as possible.

Here is where I do see us as women falling short, at least in this respect. We have been thinking that we must sit in a quiet room and be still. (After, of course, the family is all taken care of and nobody is in the house.) So the reality is, we often don’t get to it.

Let’s face it, as a mother and working woman, taking 30 minutes of uninterrupted time out of your day just doesn’t work, when four or more people are involved (and some of them are still nursing and in diapers).

I mean, you could get up at 5 AM, but then again, it doesn’t seem fair to ask that of yourself when you are already seriously sleep deprived already.

The long and short of it is that we give up on a committed spiritual practice all together because it just doesn’t seem “doable“.

But doing your spiritual practice shouldn’t add stress to your plate; it should help to relieve it.

I found myself in the above dilemma.

I knew it was so good for me to have a practice. I knew I was much more patient and happy when I did tend to my spiritual needs. So I started holding the intention of finding a way that suited my family and me. I searched for a woman’s way to enlightenment. A practice that I could commit to and really keep that commitment, without it being an outrageous challenge.

A woman’s way to enlightenment looks different to that of a man’s way.

Men and Women are different. And that is a good thing.

Here is the practice that I have committed to, one that works for me. It is really the point of me sharing this whole article with you.

I as a woman connect to God through the sharing of my heart and through movement. I as a woman connect to God when I am flowing. I as a woman have many opportunities throughout the day to be present in my movement.

When I carry my child to the store, when I pick up the laundry, when I embrace my man. In all of it, I can bring my attention to my body, my whole body, and feel the moment. One moment after another. Many moments spun together create eternity.

As a woman, I have many opportunities to share my heart. Through my community service, through looking the grocery store clerk in the eye, through watching my children play.

You as a woman don’t have to sit still in the morning or in the evening (or both) in order to attain enlightenment.

You as a woman can flow throughout your day, as long as you are committed to your practice. You as a woman can turn any moment you chose into the way that brings you closer to God, truth and your hearts fulfillment.

In the last 3 years,I went from thinking that my husband was the cause of all my anger and pain (during which time I left him), to realizing that my early sexual trauma was really at the root of all my relationship problems. Today I am back together with him, having the deeply connected and intimate relationship I so was longing for!

I want to share with YOU exactly how I healed my own sexual trauma, and how you, too, can heal yourself, so you are able create a trust-filled and deeply connected intimate relationship with your man.

I has helped many women to feel safe again, so they now are free to live and express ALL aspects of who they truly are: wild, gentle, passionate, powerful, vulnerable and loving.

I want to teach you all of it. And I am doing it for free in my BRAND-NEW Tele-class: “Healing Sexual Trauma: 3 Simple Secrets to Shame-Free and Open-Hearted Loving” on Thursday, September 1st, at 10 am PDT/1 pm EDT.

In a hurry? Grab your seat here

On this ground-breaking call you’ll learn:

• EXACTLY how to release Trauma, not just from your own system but from your entire FEMALE LINEAGE, so your children can be free. (Hint : It doesn’t need to be released from your psyche, it’s embedded within your nervous system)
• The #1 ingredient you MUST understand to heal your Trauma. (Not knowing this could cost you many more years in therapy, without seeing any real change!)

• Two simple steps that will help you regain Control over your Emotions (rather than them controlling you!)

• The secret to staying in Love even when times get rough
• How to go from a place of feeling that, when it comes to love, your “story” always gets in the way, to a place where YOU are free to express all that you truly are

Here’s that link again to reserve your spot in this complimentary Tele-class:

See you on the call!

My  Love to You,

Carolin

P.S. As you probably know, opening up to love and trusting a man is easier said then done. Let me walk you through my steps to creating safety and intimacy when it comes to love. Here’s that link again

PPS: One in three women have experienced early sexual trauma. Many of these women choose to live by themselves, or to guard themselves even if they are in a relationship, rather then risking love and being hurt again.

All of these women long for love and deep connection, all their children long for happy moms, all their men long for feminine, open-hearted lovers.

If you are one of the “one in three”, please take me up on my offer and let me teach you.
If you are not one of the “one out of three”, I am sure you know a friend who is. Please let them know of this free call, and my work.

This work is so important. It doesn’t just heal our own hearts, but the feminine and the masculine heart as a whole.

Love is the end to all suffering.

“Trying to control your mind is like fighting with a pig, two things will happen. Number one you get dirty. And, number two, the pig likes it.”

-Jerry Thomas

True Freedom, in my opinion does not lie in thinking positive thoughts or having no thought, it lies in knowing the purpose of the mind, which is not to run our life but to help us analyze a situation, stay on time and function within society.

Freedom comes from being connected to our hearts and living in accordance with it.

Can you recall a situation where you listened to you heart to make a decission rather than to your monkey mind?

If so, I invite you to share it here so others may benefit from your experience.

How do these three words pertain to personal growth and a woman’s healing journey?

Yesterday was Thanksgiving Day and, as the name suggests, we all should pause on that day and reflect on what we are grateful for. Not just reflect, but to truly feel the gratitude in our deepest core.

Well, I didn’t get to that place. I tried really hard, because I know that the vibration of gratitude is one of the highest, and therefore one of the most healing ones there are. But something deeper was going on, something very primal, which thrusted me into helplessness, and my brain into flight-or-fight mode.

Kind of like PMS meets Wedding day.

Just like when you know you should be feeling really happy, but instead you’re feeling incredibly low.

Hormones are a powerful thing, and once they are circulating in your body, it’s as if you yourself are out of control.

Men don’t understand.

I know you do.

Even with all the meditation and breathing methods and techniques I have accumulated throughout my life, I couldn’t master those damn hormones and emotions at 3 AM.

They kept me up all night, rolling from one side to the other, having no choice but to listen to the raging voices in my head, tearing apart everything I don’t like about my life, everything that’s going wrong, everything that’s wrong with me. I finally got to the old litany of ”Maybe it would be better to just not exist because this state is just to awful to be in.” I am a mom for Christ’s sake, I am a healing facilitator, I have to have it together!

It was quite the opposite of Thanksgiving.

In the middle of all of this I realized that once again I had given away my power. I had given away my power to Circumstance and out of my own hand.

I started hearing a small voice saying: ”What does your heart want? What does your heart want?” But the noise in my head was still too loud.

I tried harder and harder to get to my heart, to hear its whispers, and finally I did: “All I want is peace.”

“All I want is peace.”

In that moment I remembered.

I started making choices that felt like peace. I smelled the rose on my nightstand and listened to my daughter’s breath right beside me.

Hearing my own heartbeat, I finally could feel the raging hormones calming down.

I was tired. It was 6 am by now, and children were already getting up to play.

But I fell into sleep.

I started resting into my own peace. Grateful at last.

Grateful for the opportunity to, yet again, strengthen the muscle of my own empowerment.

What did I learn that night?

It taught me that, even if something holds us tight in its grip, like a thought pattern, a wound, our pain, a feeling of desperation, despite our feeling of helplessness we always have a choice, if we remember to connect to our own heart.

I realized again that whenever we feel split and in conflict, it is not what’s going on outside, it is the war between our mind and heart.

Our natural tendency is to listen to the mind, because it has the louder voice.

But the freedom lies in listening to our own heart, and following its gentle advice.